In the fifth episode of his ten-part YouTube series, Justin Bieber: Seasons, the singer is thinking back on his stormy past.

The most recent episode of the web series, titled “The Dark Season,” is currently available on YouTube. It deviates from the first four episodes, in which the 25-year-old singer opened up about his new album and his romance with wife Hailey Baldwin. Instead, the “Yummy” singer reflects on his inner demons and discusses his struggle with addiction.

In this installment of the series, he says, “It feels good to share, to be honest.” “I don’t think I was mature enough or ready to really take responsibility for anything.”

“While a lot of people kept saying Justin Bieber looks like s—, on meth etc. they failed to realize I’ve been recently diagnosed with Lyme disease, not only that but had a serious case of chronic mono which affected my skin, brain function, energy, and overall health,” Bieber wrote on Instagram in an update to both fans and critics ahead of the docuseries’ YouTube premiere.

A trigger warning that the chapter “contains raw and honest discussions about addiction and anxiety” opens the fifth episode. Later on, the celebrity opens up about when he first tried marijuana at the age of 13, admitting that he was “really dependent on it.”

Following that, Bieber continues to disclose that he began using medications, other drugs, and drinking lean—also referred to as “purple drank” or “sizzurp”—describing it all as a “escape.”

“I think when you take somebody very, very young and they start to get horrible, crazy, crippling anxiety and it goes undiagnosed and you don’t know what it is that you’re feeling,” his wife, 23, says in reference to her husband’s struggles. She also makes an appearance on film. You begin to self-medicate because it helps you feel better—it merely helps you feel nothing at all.

After that, the video cuts to Scooter Braun, Justin Bieber’s longtime friend and manager, who reveals that the singer’s “dark period” began when he was just 19 years old.

Because there were things hanging in front of me in this profession, Bieber says, “I started valuing the wrong things.”

He continues by outlining his decision to stop. He confesses, “I was dying,” and that his security detail would visit his room at night to see whether he was still alive and to take his pulse.

He said, “People are unaware of how serious it got.” “It was really, really scary.”

“So many people have gifts or the chance to make a change,” Bieber continues. And in the end, they either lose it or abuse their abilities for personal gain. I think so many talented individuals are throwing away so much valuable stuff. It is up to everyone of us to make a contribution with the gifts we have been given.

In the most recent episode, he also visits the doctor to receive an IV treatment of nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide to help him get rid of his toxins.

He claims, “I am just in the healing process right now, trying to make sure I am taking care of my body and taking care of the vessel that God has given me. I have abused my body in the past.”

The pop singer’s upcoming fifth studio album isn’t anticipated to be released until February, but Bieber’s docuseries is expected to run through the end of last month. His upcoming album, Changes, is scheduled for release on February 14 and will be his first since Purpose in 2015.

You can now watch the first five episodes of Justin Bieber: Seasons on YouTube.